


The Crossing

by cosmic_llin



Category: Star Trek: Voyager
Genre: Alternate Timeline, Female Friendship
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2010-08-25
Updated: 2016-12-14
Packaged: 2017-10-11 06:12:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 11,036
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/109266
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cosmic_llin/pseuds/cosmic_llin
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The women of Voyager deal with challenges big and small as they attempt the journey to the other side of Borg space.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is an AU, set after Scorpion and The Gift, in which Kes' abilities developed to a lesser extent, and so she stayed on Voyager and was not able to send them beyond Borg space.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The crew make time for a birthday party for Kes, but it's interrupted by the Borg.

The last thing Kathryn Janeway had time for was knitting. They were hurtling through Borg space, afraid every moment of being caught and assimilated, they were on minimum power and rations – because who knew when they would be able to resupply when there was no-one for light-years around but the Borg – not to mention the fact that the ship was still a mess after their unholy and short-lived alliance, leaving them limping along at low warp, barely able to defend themselves. There was a former Borg drone living in the cargo bay who might still do anything at any moment, and Kes – well, Kes wasn’t letting things get in the way of her duties, but Kathryn was worried about her.

Hence the knitting, sort of. It was a birthday present for Kes. A shawl. In other words, a big square, which was about as far as her knitting abilities went. Kes was turning four, and there was going to be a party, laughable as that was at the moment.

Replicator rations were restricted to absolute essentials, and she’d had the wool left over from a failed attempt at a sweater for Naomi a while ago, so it seemed the best thing.

The knitting itself was soothing, too. She worked on it, a few minutes every night, sitting up in bed. Concentrating on not dropping any stitches helped to calm her racing thoughts. Knit one – Seven of Nine – what was I thinking? – purl one – We’ll never get out of this alive – knit one – what if we run out of fuel? – purl one – I don’t want to be assimilated – knit one – there’s still that problem with the plasma relays – purl one – drop one – curse – purl one – what about Kes? – knit one – purl one – knit one – purl one. And she would fall into fitful sleep, and wake feeling much the same as she had the night before.

The shawl was just barely finished by Kes’ birthday. Three weeks and counting since the end of the alliance with the Borg. Neelix had decorated the mess hall as lavishly as if it were Prixin, and many of the crew were in attendance. Kathryn entered, searched for Kes, spotted her in the middle of a knot of people in the centre of the room. She watched for a moment. It was louder than the mess hall had been in a while – lately everyone was instinctively quiet, as though a laugh at a joke would draw the Borg’s attention – but whatever story Kes was telling, it was enough to make everyone forget themselves for a moment.

Lately Kes had taken to wearing plain jumpsuits while on duty, perhaps to fit in better with everyone else’s uniforms – but this was a party, and so she wore a coral pink dress, made of shimmering layers of fabric, and her curls were held back from her face by a pink headband. A year ago it might have looked girlish, like a child’s Sunday best, but now it made her look like a flower in full bloom.

Kathryn remembered Kes’ second birthday – how delighted she had been with the notion of a surprise party, how excitedly she had opened her presents, blown out her candle and then looked about to see if she had done it right.

The Kes of two years ago, Kathryn thought, would have been scared, confused by the events of the last few weeks. The sudden change in her abilities, her new awareness and energy, would have sent her running to the Doctor, or to Tuvok, or Kathryn herself, looking for guidance and reassurance. But this Kes didn’t seem to need it. She worked patiently with Tuvok, and did the exercises he set her, but her new powers were her own and she made herself mistress of them. Tuvok had noted that both her recently-acquired skill at psychokinesis and her fine control of it were impressive, and that was only the most easily demonstrable of her abilities. Still, Kathryn worried. It was a lot for anyone to handle.

‘Captain!’ said Kes, noticing she was there. ‘I’m so glad you came! Are you sure you have the time to spare?’

‘For you?’ Kathryn asked. ‘Of course! Happy birthday!’

They hugged, and Kes exclaimed over the shawl, trying it on briefly and thanking Kathryn with a glowing smile. Then Neelix appeared with his own present, and Kathryn excused herself, fetched a drink, and watched the door for a few moments.

Seven of Nine entered at precisely eight o’ clock. ‘Around eight’, Kathryn had told her, planning a brief moment with Kes before an evening of babysitting Seven. She caught her eye and beckoned her over. Seven came, walking cautiously around the crowds, who pulled back a little at her approach.

‘Is my attendance at this gathering mandatory?’ she asked, as soon as she reached Kathryn.

‘No, but Kes wanted you to know that you were welcome. And I think this is a good opportunity for you to observe the crew a bit in an informal setting.’

Seven wrinkled her nose. ‘I do not understand the purpose of this event,’ she said, sulkily.

It was going to be a long evening.

* * *

Kes revelled in the sensory feast of the party. The colours seemed brighter, the sounds crisper than ever before. It was as though the dial of her perception had been turned up as high as it would go – and with the ship constantly semi-dark and everyone hurrying and anxious, this was the first opportunity she’d had to properly enjoy it.

The rest of the crew seemed to be enjoying it too – for a moment she let herself sink into the feeling of tension released, the cautiously celebratory mood. It was buoying. She smiled at Tom, who was telling a long-winded anecdote, but across the room something caught her attention. She listened to Tom with half an ear and extended the rest of her attention to where Captain Janeway was answering her comm badge.

‘What is it, B’Elanna?’ the captain asked.

It was some long-winded engineering problem – B’Elanna hated to interrupt her at the party but it was important, and nothing they’d tried so far had worked. Of course, what could the captain do but go? She hurried away, leaving Seven alone and anxious in the middle of the room.

Kes excused herself to Tom with a smile and a tilt of her head, and went to talk to Seven of Nine.

‘Are you enjoying the party?’ she asked, with a friendly smile.

Seven looked at her. ‘No,’ she said.

Kes nodded. ‘Social events are difficult when you don’t know anybody,’ she said. ‘Have you ever been to a birthday party before?’

Seven shrugged, an awkward, childish gesture. ‘I remember singing. It was many years ago. I had to blow out the candles.’ She frowned. ‘It seems a purposeless activity.’

‘I was confused, at first, too,’ said Kes. ‘We don’t have birthday parties on Ocampa. Not like this, anyway. But I like them. I like a lot of the things I’ve learned about here.’

‘You have successfully integrated into Voyager’s crew,’ Seven said.

‘They’re good people,’ said Kes. ‘Even so, it was hard at first. I didn’t know what was expected of me, or how anything worked. I felt like an outsider. It took a while for me to feel comfortable here.’

‘You are trying to reassure me that I will also eventually learn to be like these people,’ said Seven suspiciously.

Kes shook her head. ‘You know, I’m still not like these people, and I don't think I want to be. We don’t have to be the same just because we’re friends. I just want you to know that, if you have questions, I’ll be here to help you find answers.’

‘That is…’ Seven searched for a word, ‘generous.’

Kes smiled in acknowledgement, and then suddenly looked away, startled. She tapped her commbadge.

‘Kes to Captain Janeway, we need to get out of here!’ she said.

Seven frowned at her, confused.

‘What is it?’ the captain's voice asked.

‘The Borg,’ Kes said. ‘You need to be on the bridge.’ She raised her voice over the conversations in the room. ‘Tom, Harry, Tuvok – you all need to be on the bridge too, right now.’

She led them out, a hurried stride that turned almost into a jog. They followed, even though all seemed calm. It was wise to trust Kes when she spoke so urgently.

Seven of Nine watched the mess hall empty out as the crew hurried to their duty stations. 

* * *

The first volley of phaser fire slammed into Voyager just as Kes and the others poured out of the turbolift and onto the bridge. Kathryn was already there, checking something on the Operations console while Chakotay called out commands to the crew on duty.

‘It’s two small spheres,’ she said, relinquishing Harry's position to him and returning to her seat, holding her arms out for balance as the bridge swayed with the impact. ‘Evasive manoeuvres, Tom.’

‘Aye,’ Tom said, working his console, holding on as they narrowly avoided another burst.

‘Tuvok, do we have weapons?’ she asked.

‘Torpedoes only,’ he said. ‘Phasers should be operational in three and a half minutes.’

She frowned. ‘All right, two torpedoes, fire at will. Make them count.’

‘Aye, Captain,’ said Tuvok.

They watched as, on the viewscreen, one torpedo, then another, hurtled towards the lead ship and were phasered out of existence before they came near. The ship rolled, the bridge fixtures creaked, they held on for it to settle but it didn’t, the bridge shook and pitched without respite. The viewscreen fritzed, buzzed, and returned to life.

‘Inertial dampers are hit,’ Tuvok said, over the sound of the red alert klaxon. ‘And the torpedo system is down.’

Emergency lights flared into life, flashing in laboured intervals, lighting the bridge in fuzzy, wavering red.

‘How long until we have weapons – any viable weapons?’ Chakotay asked.

‘I am unable to be certain,’ said Tuvok.

This was what Kathryn had been afraid of. This was what she dreamed about, when she tossed and turned and woke up sweating and frantic. At full strength, Voyager just might beat a couple of spheres, but like this they had no chance.

Her insides lurched with the ship as Tom flipped them ninety degrees downward  – these sorts of manoeuvres were harder on the stomach with the inertial damping system straining to function.

‘All right,’ she called, a wild idea forming, ‘whoever’s on duty in Shuttlebay One, get them to run in, set the shuttle phasers to overload, then get the hell out of there. Tom, position us so that the bay doors are pointing towards them. We’re going to throw a shuttle at them and see what happens.’

Tom acknowledged, as Harry relayed her order to the shuttle bay.

‘Ready,’ said Harry, after a few moments.

‘Ready,’ Tom confirmed.

‘Do it,' she said.

On the shuddering viewscreen, the shuttle was flung away from them, and burst like a firework as it hit the first sphere, driving it backwards. Tom whistled.

‘They have sustained damage,’ Tuvok said. ‘But none of it critical.’

The sphere came around for another pass, even as the other one fired at them.

‘Shields at twelve percent!’ Tuvok yelled to be heard. ‘Direct hit to life support. Direct hit to weapons. Hull breach on deck seven!’

Kathryn held on to her armrests, thinking, thinking… 

‘_You will be assimilated_,’ came the voices over the comm system. ‘_Resistance is futile. Your biological and technological distinctiveness will be added to our own_.’

The crew exchanged stricken looks through the red-lit gloom as the message blared.

Kes, who had been standing out of the way by the turbolift, stepped forward. She stared towards the viewscreen, but seemed not to see it. She seemed to be concentrating very hard on something else.

‘Kes?’ Kathryn asked.

Kes waved her away, closing her eyes. Around her the others worked desperately, trying to ignore the voice of the Borg reverberating throughout the ship, but Kes was like a patch of silence in the din. Her face was expressionless. She might have been meditating, or asleep. She lifted her hands to the level of her chest, and pushed them slowly together.

On the viewscreen, the two spheres turned and began to fire at one another.

'What the hell?' said Harry, as he tried to verify using the sensors what they could see with their own eyes.

They ships poured all of their phaser reserves into one another, in unrestrained volleys, and with astonishing speed the damaged ship was destroyed, the resulting explosion taking the other ship with it.

Suddenly there was nothing but a debris field. Gasps and sighs escaped the crew as they hurried to prepare damage reports and sensor logs.

Kathryn looked about the still-shuddering bridge, her pulse throbbing in her temples. Kes still stood by the railing beneath the Tactical console. She hadn't moved. She opened her eyes, and they were unnaturally bright against the sudden pale of her face. She looked at Kathryn, and with a sigh fell to the floor in a heap.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kathryn and B'Elanna undertake a risky mission, and Kes has a request to make.

'Come in, Captain,' Kes called, before Kathryn rang the door chime.

She entered, and smiled. 'Kes – how are you feeling?'

Kes was sitting up in bed, propped up against a mountain of pillows and reading a PADD. She put it down as Kathryn came to sit on the edge of the bed, and returned the smile warmly. She already looked less pale and ill than she had a few hours ago, when Kathryn had helped her to a chair and checked her vital signs while the Doctor made his way to the bridge.

'I'm much better, thank you,' she said. 'Just a little tired, still. The Doctor says it's not unexpected that I might experience side-effects after psychokinetic activity of that intensity, and he says I can return to duty as soon as I feel ready.'

'Well, don't rush yourself. The most important thing is that you don't overdo it.'

Kes looked steadily at her for a moment. 'It isn't though, is it?'

'Isn't what?'

'The most important thing. What's more important is that we make it out of Borg space alive.'

'Well, we're one step closer, thanks to you.'

'That's exactly my point. If it weren't for me, you would all have been assimilated by now.'

Kathryn's face fell, and Kes reached to take her hand. 'Oh – I know that sounds terrible,' she said, 'but what I mean is that, perhaps, it's more important for us to escape than it is for me to be comfortable.'

'What exactly are you suggesting?'

'I want to learn about starship operations, engineering, how everything fits together. Earlier, with the Borg ships – part of the reason it was so difficult for me is that I just didn't know what to do. I tried at first just to blow the ships up, but I couldn't manage it, and so I had to find another way to make it happen. I tried to see inside them – the way I saw inside Seven of Nine, when I helped her, in sickbay – but I didn't know what any of it meant. I had to guess. If I could learn more, it would be easier for me to help.'

Kathryn nodded. 'I see what you mean.'

'That way,' Kes continued, 'I'll know the fastest, easiest ways to help. I can be a lever, not a club.'

She looked Kathryn in the eye, her expression serious.

'All right... talk to B'Elanna about it,' Kathryn said. 'But not today. I don't want to see you on duty until there's a little more colour in your cheeks, hmm?'

Kes smiled. 'All right.'

Janeway leaned in to hug her, briefly, and then got up to leave.

'And Kes,' she said, as the door opened behind her, 'thank you.'

'Any time,' Kes said.

* * *

'Captain,' said Tuvok, entering the transporter room where Kathryn was busy checking the controls on her environmental suit, 'I must caution you against this. We do not know for certain whether any drones remain operational on the disabled vessel.'

Kathryn shook her head, firmly. 'I appreciate your caution, Tuvok, but B'Elanna needs someone over there to help her find the recognition transceiver, and everyone else is busy with repairs. We'll be fine with a security team.'

'Then I will lead the team myself,' Tuvok said.

'All right,' agreed Kathryn, with a grin. 'It's quicker this way than arguing with you. Suit up. We're leaving in ten minutes.'

B'Elanna entered, in her own suit, with the helmet under her arm. She looked a little pale and anxious, Kathryn thought - but then, the idea of sneaking onto a Borg ship and stealing technology, while their only means of escape was almost dead in the water, didn't exactly thrill her either.

'Do you really trust Seven of Nine on this?' B'Elanna asked. 'She has no reason to help us against the Borg.'

'She has no reason to lie to us, either,' said Kathryn, 'and I don't think she would know how if she did. Besides, if we retrieve the transceiver it won't help us attack the Borg, only hide from them. Our intentions aren't hostile.'

B'Elanna shrugged, seemingly unconvinced, but she said nothing more.

Kathryn wondered for a brief moment, as she got onto the transporter pad, whether Tuvok might be right. The ship - what was left of it - looked dormant, but you could never be too careful with the Borg. Still, nothing venture, nothing gain.

'Energize,' she said.

What was left of the sphere - a pie-slice chunk that still had gravity, but no atmosphere - was a mess when they materialised. Kathryn activated her wrist beacon to get a better look - only flickering emergency lighting seemed to be operational, casting everything in long, deep shadows. Alcoves had come apart and the walkway was littered with broken components and cables. There were dead drones, too, here and there, although most of them had been blown into space before the emergency forcefields had kicked in.

'Should be this way,' B'Elanna said, her voice sounding tinny and tremulous through the comm system in the suits. She gestured down the walkway.

They picked their way along, B'Elanna consulting her tricorder regularly to check they were on the right path.

The security team surrounded them, Tuvok in the lead and two others behind. It felt cramped in the narrow corridor, with the bulky suits. Kathryn hoped they would be finished quickly. They stopped now and then to move obstacles out of the way. There were movements in the distance, things falling, settling. Kathryn kept a hand near the phaser at her waist.

At last they reached a wider chamber, round, and mostly empty apart from the glowing shape in the centre. It was a few feet tall, almost as wide, and covered in glowing cracks.

'There it is,' said B'Elanna. 'If the drone's right, this should let us give off a Borg recognition code.'

'We have to get it out of here first,' Kathryn said.

The two of them crouched in front of the object, scanning it carefully.

'It's still active,' said Kathryn. 'We'll need to take it offline before we can disconnect it and transport it to Voyager.'

B'Elanna nodded, a slow, clumsy gesture with her helmet. She knelt and opened the toolkit, laying the instruments she was most likely to need out in a row.

The process was slow, in the suits and the poor light, even though Kathryn had the security team point their wrist beacons at the transceiver. She and B'Elanna went carefully, and resisted the temptation to hurry. Being caught here if the Borg came back would be bad, but worse would be making the wrong move and blowing the whole thing up.

'I think I've almost got it,' B'Elanna said, after twenty painstaking minutes. 'I just need to…'

She gently tapped at a connection with a microdriver, and suddenly the transceiver was flashing and vibrating alarmingly.

'Hyperspanner!' B'Elanna shouted.

Kathryn grabbed it from the toolkit, handed it over, watched as B'Elanna swiftly but surely opened up the casing and made adjustments. The flashing grew faster. Kathryn could feel the deck vibrating in sympathy with the transceiver, rattling her knees.

B'Elanna hissed anxiously. 'Every time I think I've got it, something else pops up,' she muttered, not stopping her work.

'Keep at it, you're doing fine,' Kathryn said, with a calm she didn't feel.

She reached for the next tool almost before B'Elanna knew she needed it, handed it over, cleared the hyperspanner away to make more space as B'Elanna tried for a better angle. She could feel beads of sweat forming at her temples, she watched B'Elanna's hands intently, her fingers, clumsy in their thick gloves, moving as quickly as she could make them.

The flashing intensified, hurting her eyes. B'Elanna let out a cry of frustration, pressed a few final buttons, made a last adjustment, and then the flashing stopped, and they weren't blown up, and the transceiver was dark and silent.

Kathryn let out a long, slow breath.

'Nice work, B'Elanna,' she said, patting her on the shoulder. 'Now let's disconnect it.'

The work of disconnecting it was less tense, but achingly slow. Kathryn and B'Elanna worked in tandem, passing tools back and forth, occasionally consulting one another. The security team stood around them, looking alertly about. Kathryn could hear everyone's breathing faintly through the comm in the suit.

At last, B'Elanna straightened up, and announced, 'I think we might be finished. Captain?'

Kathryn nodded. 'I agree. Let's beam this thing out of here.' She activated the external comm on the control panel of her suit. 'Janeway to Voyager, we're ready to transport the transceiver.'

'Aye, captain,' said Harry's voice. 'Stand by.'

They watched, a little nervous, as it dematerialized.

'Transport complete,' Harry informed them.

Kathryn smiled, satisfied. She and B'Elanna gathered the tools and packed them carefully back into the case.

'All right, let's get out of here ourselves,' she said. 'Harry, we're ready to beam out.'

* * *

B'Elanna got out of her environmental suit as soon as she could, once they were back on Voyager, and hurried back down to Engineering. She took a deep, steadying breath as she entered, and revelled for a moment in the warm aliveness of her kingdom. She knew that her environmental suit had regulated her temperature on the Borg ship, so she hadn't actually been cold, but she had certainly felt it every moment, surrounded by dead drones and the inert remains of malevolent-looking instruments she wanted no words for.

Engineering was different. Even now, with half the panels open and cables and tools scattered about the deck, it felt safe, comfortable. She looked at the warp core - silent for now, after the damage they had sustained in the attack - but the centre of a web of excited but controlled activity. She hadn't slept in almost two days, but seeing the work near completion made it seem worth it.

'Status,' she said to Harry, who was installing the transceiver in an alcove a little way from the door, with the help of several crewmen.

'We're starting to get somewhere,' said Harry. 'I've checked it over and it all looks good. We're ready to start integrating it into our systems. Seven's been helping me.'

B'Elanna started. She hadn't noticed Seven, crouched as she was behind Harry, tinkering with the transceiver. She frowned. Seven didn't look up at the mention of her name, or appear to notice B'Elanna's presence.

'Well, just… keep an eye on her, ok?' she said.

Harry shrugged, and gestured towards the security guard standing a discreet distance away. 'It's fine,' he said. 'The work is going a lot faster with her here.'

'Just… keep me posted,' said B'Elanna.

She felt embarrassed, somehow, and she wasn't sure why. She hurried away to check on the repairs. They were proceeding well. Once she had worked out who was doing what and how long it would take, B'Elanna grabbed a toolkit and headed to a Jefferies tube to help with the repairs. Her team knew their jobs, and she was more use working than standing about giving unnecessary orders.

* * *

By the time she returned, Lieutenant Nicoletti was just running the final checks and start-up sequence. B'Elanna watched as the warp core burst into life, the blue glow illuminating the floor around it. She looked at the control panel where Susan was running the checks.

'This looks good,' she said. She tapped her comm badge. 'Torres to Bridge?'

'Janeway here,' the captain's voice replied.

'Captain, the warp core is back online, she's ready whenever you are. We've got up to warp seven, and we should be back to maximum warp capability within a day or two.'

'Nice work, B'Elanna.'

B'Elanna smiled, and waited and watched for a few seconds until Voyager jumped to warp and the core began to thrum with energy. She wasn't sure which pleased her more – that they were finally going to make some headway towards getting out of Borg space, or that her engine room was close to operating at peak efficiency again. Either way, somehow she knew she'd sleep well tonight.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kathryn's battle with insomnia continues, and Kes helps out in Engineering.

It seemed odd to be having a supply meeting, somehow. It seemed odd to be having any sort of meeting – at least one where everyone was sitting down and the lights were all on and the room was, if not perfectly pristine, not littered with chunks of the ship. But they had been travelling unmolested through Borg space for three days following the battle with the Borg spheres, and as the engineering work wound down to bits and pieces, the work of cleaning up and planning for the journey ahead had begun.

Kathryn herself had helped to clean up the briefing room, and she was pleased with it. Much of the ship was still a mess, but it seemed to help to have a place to meet that looked clean and bright and, well, normal. She felt a little like they were on a voyage again, rather than a headlong dash to safety.

'Reports, then,’ she said, once Chakotay, Neelix, B’Elanna and Kes had come in and sat down.

'It goes without saying that supplies are going to be a problem at some point,’ Chakotay said. ‘I’d suggest we bring down replicator rations at least a little. Power levels are fine at the moment but we have no way of knowing when we’ll be able to resupply. We should be on the lookout for anything that could help – new energy sources, planets with edible plants – anything we can use to stretch our supplies without attracting too much attention from the Borg.’

'I imagine trade will be difficult around here,’ Neelix said. ‘Anyone who hasn’t fallen victim to the Borg is probably keeping to themselves. But I do have a few ideas to extend the supplies I already have in the kitchen. And if it’s all right with you, captain, I plan to impose a strict three meals per day policy – unnecessary snacking will make a hole in our reserves quicker than you’d think.’

Kathryn nodded. ‘We’ll do what we have to,’ she said. ‘B’Elanna?’

'I’ve been trying some things to improve replicator efficiency,’ B’Elanna said, ‘and energy efficiency generally. There’s a lot we can save by using lower lighting in non-critical areas, reducing the number of self-clean cycles, that sort of thing. It’ll make things a little less comfortable, but we’ll eat better.’

'Nice work,’ Kathryn said.

'I want to do some refitting in the airponics bay,’ Kes said. ‘And a little extra help now and then would be good, too.’

'I’m sure someone can be spared,’ Kathryn said. ‘Do you think you can increase production by much?’

'I’m sure I can, with the right supplies,’ said Kes.

The meeting was a long one, covering as much as possible of the things they had let slide in the last few weeks. Finally, Kathryn looked down at her list and checked off the last item.

'I think that's everything for now?' she said. 'Same time tomorrow for progress reports, please.'

'Could I talk to you for a moment, B’Elanna?’ Kes asked, as they got up to leave.

'If it’s quick,’ B’Elanna said.

'Are you going back to Engineering?’ asked Kes. ‘I’ll walk with you.’

B’Elanna nodded and they fell into step. Kes explained her wish to learn more about Engineering, and B'Elanna listened with a meditative look.

'All right,' she said, when Kes had finished. 'I can't spare anyone to teach you right now so you'll have to do the reading yourself.'

'I've already read the first several texts recommended to beginning Engineering students,' Kes interrupted.

B'Elanna blinked. 'Okay,' she said, after a moment. 'In that case come with me. I need an assistant while I realign the replicators.'

* * *

Learning had always come easily to Kes. Not that it was unusual among the Ocampa, and she had never thought of herself as remarkable until she had encountered other races who seemed stunned at her powers of recall and quick understanding of new concepts. Hearing the Doctor explain how a human nurse might train for years to do her job made her grateful for the quirk of evolution that had granted her people the good memories necessary to make the most of their short life spans.

She had never encountered a subject that posed any difficulties for her – philosophy and music held no fears, geography and languages were simplicity itself, biological sciences in particular settled easily into her brain as though she had known them all along – nothing ever stumped Kes.

Kes was stumped.

It wasn't a case of memorizing – she'd been assisting B'Elanna with the replicator realignment for two days now and she knew the names of all of the components, all the tools that B'Elanna would need handed to her, and in which order. She had even, under B'Elanna's supervision, made a few modifications herself, and had them pronounced satisfactory.

'None of it makes any sense,' she sighed to B'Elanna, when they made a detour to the Mess Hall for a ten-minute break between replicators.

'Am I explaining it wrong?' B'Elanna asked, pouring herself a generous cup of low-replicator-demand coffee substitute before they sat down.

'No, it's not that,' said Kes. 'You've been very helpful. I just... can't seem to get any deeper than the basic concepts. It all starts to sound like nonsense.'

'Well, engineering's not for everyone,' B'Elanna said, amiably. 'And you're still a big help even if you don't really understand why you're doing what you're doing.'

Kes sighed again. 'Maybe I just do better with living things,' she mused, absent-mindedly stirring her drink without actually touching it.

B'Elanna laughed. 'To me, Voyager is like a living thing,' she said. 'She's as alive to me as anyone on the crew – she has her own moods, her own personality, her own ways of getting things done.' She blushed suddenly, and took a large sip of her coffee substitute to cover up her accidental moment of unguarded whimsy.

'I can see that,' Kes nodded. 'You've worked very closely with Voyager, almost since she was launched. The captain says the same sorts of things. But I'm afraid it's going to take a lot more work before I can see Voyager as a living creature and not just a very complicated machine.'

'Well,' said B'Elanna, draining her mug and setting it down, 'an afternoon of helping with the replicator realignment might help.'

'I doubt it,' said Kes, pessimistically. 'Oh well, lead on, Lieutenant.'

* * *

Kathryn couldn’t sleep. Again. Now that she had no knitting to distract her, she was running out of ideas. Warm milk didn’t help. Neither did soothing music. The Doctor had told her in no uncertain terms that, to conserve replicator power, he wouldn’t give out any medication unless it were absolutely necessary.

'Computer, time?’ she mumbled out into the darkness of her quarters.

'The time is 0340 hours,’ said the computer.

'Damn you,’ Kathryn said.

Wisely, the computer didn’t respond.

Kathryn tried for a few more minutes to pretend that she was sleeping, but it was a futile exercise and she knew it, so, finally, she called for the lights, pulled on a nightrobe and a pair of slippers and left her quarters. She wasn’t even sure where she was going, exactly, but walking the corridors of her ship helped a little with the mind-racing, can’t-be-still feeling. There were a few people working on the clean-up, still. She passed one or two of them and nodded, smiled, exchanged a few words. She found she didn’t want to stop and talk.

Her feet seemed to know where she was going better than she did – she was surprised to find herself suddenly in the airponics bay. The lights were still on. The refit was proceeding well, a sort of scaffolding with several tiers of plants had been installed in one corner, and others were partway through installation. Kathryn looked for a moment at the bright splashes of colour, leaping out from the cool grey of the deck.

'Captain, I’m glad you’re here,’ Kes said.

Kathryn hadn’t noticed her. Her jumpsuit today was green, and her hair was tied back so that it wouldn’t get in her way. She blended in perfectly with the plants.

'I couldn’t sleep,’ Kathryn shrugged. ‘And I thought… perhaps you might like some help?’

Kes smiled, and beckoned Kathryn to where she was working on transplanting some vegetables from one container to another. It was distracting at first to see Kes work – the plants she was moving leapt into her hands without her touching them, and tools occasionally flew silently across the room. But it didn't take long to get used to it, until it seemed like part of the natural rhythm of the task. It was peaceful. Kathryn concentrated on her own work, breathing deeply, enjoying the scent of the few flowers still growing among the vegetables.

'What are you doing up this late, anyway?’ she thought to ask, after a while.

'Oh, I don’t sleep very much, lately,’ Kes said. ‘A few hours a night is more than enough. I do my shift in Sickbay and I help out in Engineering and I find that I’m still not ready to sleep, so I come here.’

They fell silent after that, and just worked, until the entire container was emptied. Kathryn sighed with satisfaction. One day soon, a member of the crew would eat the vegetables that she had helped to grow.

'It’s a nice feeling, isn’t it?’ said Kes.

Kathryn nodded. ‘I think I might be ready to try to sleep again, now.’

'Me too, actually,' said Kes. ‘ Sleep well, Captain.'

'Sleep well, Kes.'

Kathryn smiled a goodbye and wandered back to her quarters, where she went straight to bed and was asleep within minutes.

* * *

It was funny how quickly a thing could become habit. By the time the week was out, Kathryn’s days took on a familiar shape – she started the morning with, to conserve replicator rations, a very tiny cup of coffee. Then there was the morning briefing, followed by a day of helping out wherever it was necessary – since their only goal was to go as fast as they could and not be noticed, there seemed little point in her spending excessive amounts of time on the bridge, doing nothing while around her the crew did their jobs. So she worked on the efficiency projects in Engineering, she helped with the continued clean-up of the ship, she visited with the crew and she spent a great deal of time with Seven of Nine, helping her with the rudiments of starship life. And then in the evenings, she went to the airponics bay.

'How’s Seven getting on?’ Kes asked, one night, as they worked side-by-side to harvest a crop of potatoes.

Kathryn sighed. ‘All right, I suppose?’ she said. ‘She seems resigned to being here, and when I talk to her she answers willingly enough, but she shows no interest, she doesn’t seem to care about rediscovering her humanity…’

'That’s understandable,’ Kes pointed out, ‘the last time she was truly human she was just a child. How could she go back to that now, after everything she’s seen and known? She’s starting from the beginning again.’

'I just wish I could figure out how to reach her,’ Kathryn sighed.

Kes looked seriously at her. ‘You are reaching her,’ she said. ‘It may not be obvious, but she’s responding to you, captain. Have a little patience.’

'That’s never been something I’ve had a ready supply of,’ Kathryn said, ‘but I’ll try.’

She dumped the full sack of potatoes behind her and reached for an empty one to start again. ‘I think it would help if we could just get away from Borg space,’ she mused. ‘It can’t be helping, her knowing all the time that they’re right there, how easy it would be to go back to them… Kes, did I make a mistake?’

'What do you mean?’ Kes put down her trowel for a moment and turned to face her.

'Should we have tried to go around Borg space, leave well enough alone? Would it have been better to be safe, and give up on going home entirely? There are plenty of nice places to settle in the Delta Quadrant, and who knows if our families and friends will even be alive when we get back?’

'This isn’t a new question, is it?’ Kes asked. ‘The fact that we’re in Borg space doesn’t change how much you all want to get home, and who’s to say that going around would have been any safer? The Borg aren’t the only dangerous thing out here.’

'Is it worth it for you, Kes?’ Kathryn asked. ‘You’ve left your home behind, is it worth your while to do all of this in hopes of seeing ours?’

Kes considered. ‘Voyager is my home, for now,’ she said, ‘and I won’t abandon her, and all of you, just because it isn’t safe. If I wanted safe I would have stayed on Ocampa. I'm where I'm supposed to be.'

Kathryn nodded.

* * *

'What are we doing here?' Seven of Nine asked - dubious, as she was of any new activity.

'We're contributing to the productivity and well-being of the crew,' Kathryn said, 'by helping to grow vegetables for consumption. B'Elanna can't spare anyone to supervise you in Engineering and Kes could use a hand.'

Seven nodded, one of the few human mannerisms she had picked up so far, and Kathryn showed her how to check the airponics containers and make sure that the plants were receiving the correct levels of nutrients, before they settled down with a new, empty container to plant some seedlings.

'Be careful with them,' Kathryn said, demonstrating to Seven how to remove the seedlings from their pods and move them to the larger container. 'They're pretty fragile at this stage, but in a few weeks they'll be big enough to eat.'

'I understand,' said Seven, and she gingerly picked up her first seedling, easing it free of the growing medium with the tips of her fingers and transferring it with care, an expression of concentration on her face.

Kathryn watched her for a moment, and then turned to plant her own seedlings. 


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Seven learns some manners and Kathryn makes a difficult decision.

Shutting off life support entirely to several decks had given them valuable extra power, and Kathryn didn't mind sharing her quarters at all – Kes, B'Elanna and Lieutenant Nicoletti were all very conscientious roommates. She wondered how much of that was down to nerves at rooming with the captain, and how long it would last.

It still wasn't enough, though.

'I'm not looking forward to this, not at all,' Kathryn said to B'Elanna as they made their way to Sickbay. Her stomach hurt just thinking about it. Of all the hard decisions she'd made lately, this was the one that made her feel the guiltiest.

'Me neither,' B'Elanna said. 'But we're all making sacrifices, Captain.'

'Some sacrifices are a little bigger than others, though.'

They entered. The Doctor was there, working on a PADD in his dimly-lit office.

'Doctor,' said Kathryn, 'could we speak to you for a moment?'

He looked up at Kathryn's determinedly businesslike expression, and B'Elanna's anxious one.

'You want to deactivate me, don't you?' he asked.

'Only until we find another energy source!' B'Elanna burst out. 'And there are some promising things coming up on the long-range scans.'

'We wouldn't ask this if it weren't necessary,' Kathryn said. 'You know that you're a valued member of this crew, Doctor, but at the moment energy efficiency is our highest priority and your matrix uses considerable resources. We would like for you to deactivate yourself for the time being, unless there's a medical emergency, in which case of course you'll be reactivated.'

'I see,' said the Doctor. 'That... well, that seems reasonable. May I take some time to prepare some handover notes for Kes before I take myself offline?'

'Of course, take as much time as you need,' Kathryn said. 'And thank you, Doctor. It's very much appreciated.'

He didn't return her weak smile. As the Sickbay doors closed behind them again, B'Elanna heaved a long sigh.

'Well, now I feel even worse,' she said.

'Me too,' admitted Kathryn. 'What if we just don't find any good energy sources? Are we going to live like this for ten years, until we get past Borg space? It's only been a couple of months, morale's already at rock bottom. The whole ship is dark and stuffy, we can't even run the holodecks...'

'But at least we're using holodeck power for other things now,' B'Elanna said.

Kathryn laughed. 'Yes, that's one we'll have to tell them about, when they get back to Earth.'

Desperation had finally forced them into working out a way to use holodeck power in other ship's systems, and the two of them had spent two days straight sitting in the Mess Hall surrounded by PADDs and pots of Neelix's coffee substitute, arguing back and forth, before arriving at a workable solution. It had taken an Engineering crew a week to make the necessary adjustments, but they'd done it.

* * *

'I do not understand,' Seven said, for the fifth or sixth time in the conversation. 'Of what importance is my attitude to the other person, as long as they have what I require?'

Kes was silent for a minute, gathering the last of the carrots they were picking into a tray while she considered her answer.

'Well,' she said, 'think of it like this. When you were a member of the Collective, you received all necessary nutrients as you regenerated, didn't you?'

'Yes,' said Seven.

'And now that you're aboard Voyager and you've begun to eat solid food again, you've found that you prefer it to the Borg way. Manners are a little like that. We can get along fine without them, if we have to, but life is much more pleasant with them.'

'I admit I was... surprised by the intensity of the sensations involved in consuming solid food,' said Seven.

Kes laughed. 'That's an understatement. Did you know Neelix has started to keep some of the parsnip broth back especially for when you're late for meals?'

Seven's eyes widened. She looked almost distressed. 'I... it was not my intention to deprive others on the crew of food.'

'Relax, Seven,' said Kes. 'Everyone has a favourite food – Neelix always saves a bit of casserole for Tom, too, and you've seen the way he makes sure there's always coffee for the Captain. It's his way of showing you that he cares about you.'

Seven nodded. 'That is... kind of him.'

'And how does it make you feel, that Neelix wants to do that for you?'

Seven considered. 'I am gratified that he considers my wishes relevant.'

Kes smiled. 'Exactly!'

'Exactly what?'

'He considers your wishes relevant. That's what good manners are, Seven – when you say “please” or “thank you”, they're not just empty words, they signal to the other person that you're aware of the drain you're placing on their time and resources and that you acknowledge their efforts. In the collective you never needed anything like that because you were linked together, but when you don't have that luxury, these little things facilitate more efficient communication and cooperation.'

'I see,' said Seven, looking thoughtfully at Kes.

'Not to mention,' Kes continued, 'politeness makes people more kindly disposed to you generally. It's a good strategy for ensuring their future assistance. Could you hand me that tray, please?'

Seven picked the empty tray up and exchanged it for the full one Kes gave her.

'Thank you,' said Kes.

Seven made a good attempt at a smile. 'You are welcome,' she said.

* * *

'Excuse me, Lieutenant,' said Seven.

B'Elanna looked up. 'Excuse me' was new. And so, she realised, was Seven's outfit. She was wearing a plain, dark blue jumpsuit a little like the ones Kes wore.

'Seven!' she said. 'Uh... nice outfit.'

'Thank you,' said Seven. 'My... recovery... has progressed to the point that I no longer require specially-adapted clothing to aid in healing.'

'That's... great,' said B'Elanna.

Had Seven just thanked her? What exactly was going on here?

'Um... thank _you_ for all your help in Engineering this week,' B'Elanna said, testing the waters.

Seven nodded. 'You are welcome. In fact, I have some free time and I can to ask if there was anything I could assist with.'

'That would be... that would be great. I could use a hand realigning the injectors.'

'Of course.'

* * *

Kes was meditating when Kathryn arrived in the airponics bay that evening. Kathryn knew better than to interrupt – Kes' meditation was vital. She was using her psychic energy to make the plants grow faster. They'd been able to stop using the replicators almost completely since she had mastered the technique.

Kathryn watered the lettuces and waited for Kes to finish. She did, a few minutes later, opening her eyes and stretching.

'Captain!' she said. 'I didn't hear you come in.'

'I didn't want to disturb you,' Kathryn said. 'The Talaxian tomatoes are coming along nicely.'

'Aren't they?' Kes said, getting to her feet and wiping her palms on her jumpsuit. Her face was pink.

'You look a little warm, Kes,' Kathryn observed. 'Are you feeling all right?'

'Oh, I'm fine,' Kes said. 'Don't worry.'

'Perhaps you should see the Doctor, just in case? We can't afford to have anyone sick at the moment.'

'I'm not sick, Captain, I promise you,' Kes said. There was something brittle in the way she said it, something stiff in the way she held herself that was unlike her.

'Then what? Kes... talk to me.'

Kes sighed and shook her head. 'It's the worst, worst time for it,' she said.

'For what?' Kathryn persisted.

'My elogium. My body is getting ready to have a baby.'

 


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kathryn helps Kes make a decision. B'Elanna and Seven share a project.

Kathryn breathed out. ‘Of course.’

After Kes’ false elogium the potential for the real thing had seemed a comfortable time in the future, but now Kes was into her fourth year - Kathryn should have known, she should have noticed weeks ago, but she’d been preoccupied with all the energy conservation projects. She’d seen Kes getting rounder and pinker and hadn’t put two and two together, hadn’t even realised that there was a puzzle to solve.

‘How far along is it?’ Kathryn asked.

‘My body temperature has risen, and the mitral sac has begun to develop,’ said Kes. ‘It’s proceeding at the normal rate, much slower than last time, but I’d say I need to make a definite decision within... maybe a week.’

‘A week. That’s not long,’ said Kathryn.

Kes shook her head. ‘No. I’ve known this was coming for a while but I’m no closer to deciding what to do. And if I don’t decide by then... it’s no fake this time, this is my only chance to have a child.’

Kathryn nodded. ‘You need to talk this through,’ she said. ‘Come on, let’s take a walk.’

While Kes got to her feet, Kathryn tapped her combadge.

‘Janeway to Torres,’ she said. ‘B’Elanna, I’m unexpectedly busy this evening and I usually check on Seven of Nine around this time, before she starts regenerating. Do you have a moment to just go and make sure she’s all right?’

There was a pause before B’Elanna’s slightly stunned voice replied. ‘Uh… of course, captain. No problem.’

‘Thanks, B’Elanna, I owe you one,’ Kathryn said, leading the way out of the airponics bay.

* * *

After the captain’s call, B’Elanna stood for a moment in the quarters she was now sharing with the captain, Kes and Susan Nicoletti.

It was stupid to feel unsure. All she had to do was check on Seven. It would take all of five minutes. And it wasn’t like Seven was going to _do_ anything to her.

‘Come on, Torres,’ she muttered to herself, and her feet moved before she could spare herself more time to think about it.

When she arrived the lights in the cargo bay were dim, and the leftover Borg technology littering the place gave B’Elanna the creeps, but she reminded herself that she was a Starfleet officer, took a deep breath, and entered.

‘Seven?’ she asked.

‘Lieutenant Torres,’ Seven replied.

B’Elanna blinked in the gloom. Seven was standing in a corner near her alcove, working on a PADD. She looked suddenly small to B’Elanna, wrapped in the shadows of the wide cargo bay. Was she always here, B’Elanna wondered, when she wasn’t anywhere else? Just standing here in the corner of this echoing space, in the middle of the debris of her ruined ship and the stacks of cargo containers?

‘Don’t you want a room of your own?’ B’Elanna blurted.

Seven stared at her. ‘Why?’

‘I…’ B’Elanna paused. ‘I don’t know. I guess the Borg don’t really have a concept of privacy. But doesn’t it bother you that anyone can come in here any time? Where do you even keep your things?’

‘I was allocated a storage container for my clothing...’ Seven said, then trailed off.

‘Yes,’ B’Elanna said, moving closer to her, ‘but you know the rest of us have rooms, right? Even now that I’m sharing, I have a place I can go when I want to be alone and quiet. You don’t have that - anyone can just come in here whenever they like.’

Seven thought for a moment. ‘The unpredictable nature of the crew’s use of the cargo bay is… frustrating,’ she admitted. ‘There is no order to it. In the Collective I was surrounded by others but we were united in our purpose. Now I am often surrounded by disorganised activity… a respite from it would be welcome.’

B’Elanna snapped her fingers. ‘You know what,’ she said, ‘we still have some partitions and equipment left over from when we were dividing up everyone’s quarters - we could build you a little private room around your alcove. Would you like that?’

Seven frowned for a moment, then her expression cleared. ‘Yes,’ she said. ‘I would like that.’

* * *

There weren’t as many places to go now that most of the decks were dark for power conservation. Kathryn and Kes headed for one of the port side viewing windows - a long, curved portal looking out on the stars. The deck around them was only minimally lit, but warm from the plasma conduits that ran directly beneath. Kathryn thought it was a little like a cocoon might be.

‘Everything is complicated now,’ Kes was saying. ‘It was so easy to assume that Neelix would be the father of my child, when we were together. I’d stopped questioning it. But now... will he still want to? Is there anyone else I could even ask?’

Kathryn took her hand, pulling her gently to sit where the wall curved beneath the window. ‘Neelix is your friend and he loves you,’ she said. ‘And if you still want him to be involved in this, I think he would agree without hesitating.’

Kes sighed. ‘You’re probably right. But _is_ that what I want? Do I really know what being co-parents would mean for us? I love Neelix too, he’s so important to me, but I can’t just rush into this without thinking about how it would change things… but who else could I ask for something this important?’

‘There’s another question you haven’t considered,’ said Kathryn gently. ‘And that’s whether you want to have a child at all.’

Kes’ head snapped up at that, her eyes wide.

‘But it’s my elogium,’ she said.

‘Will anything bad happen if you don’t conceive a child?’

Kes shook her head slowly. ‘No... I don’t think so... but it’s almost unheard-of. I don’t think I ever met any older Ocampans who hadn’t had children. And I only heard stories of one or two. I just assumed that, when the time came, that’s what I would do too.’

Kathryn smiled. ‘Kes... almost everything you’ve done since you left your home is unprecedented - you’ve seen and done things no other Ocampan ever has. You are not a typical Ocampan, you are exceptional. And you can make whatever choices you want to make.’

Kes drew her knees up to her chest, wrapping her arms around them. She looked out at the stars streaking past.

‘I wish I knew what to do,’ she said.

* * *

‘OK, this is what you do,’ said B’Elanna, slotting together two of the premade partition pieces and leaning them against the wall for later retrieval. ‘And when we’ve worked out where you want them, we can attach them to the floor.’

‘This should be sufficient space,’ said Seven, indicating the square marked in tape on the cargo bay floor. It encompassed her alcove and a smallish area around it, including the entrance to the small washroom and sonic shower attached to the bay.

‘This is marked on schematics as a public facility,’ Seven had protested initially.

‘Nonsense,’ B’Elanna had said, ‘there are dozens of other bathrooms all over the ship that people can use if they want to. This one’s yours now.’

And Seven had relented.

‘Do you need to regenerate yet?’ B’Elanna asked. ‘I think we could get this done in another hour, if you want to finish it tonight...’

‘That would be acceptable,’ said Seven.

* * *

‘Sleeping on it might help,’ said Kathryn, indistinctly because she was brushing her teeth, leaning through the curtained archway in the partition that separated her area from Kes’s in what had used to be just her quarters.

‘You’re probably right,’ said Kes, folding the day’s clothes neatly and putting them at the end of her bed. ‘If I can manage to sleep at all.’

‘I know you don’t need as much lately, but I think you should try,’ Kathryn said. ‘Want me to sit with you for a while?’

Kes smiled, shook her head. ‘Captain, you’ve been up since five this morning. You’re tired. Go to bed. I’ll be all right.’

‘All right,’ said Kathryn. ‘Good night then.’

Out in the central area, she heard the main door open.

‘G'night, B’Elanna!’ she called, and retreated into her own corner.

‘Goodnight, captain!’ the answer came.

There were a few minutes more of shuffling and lights switching on and off, and then darkness and silence.

* * *

Seven of Nine slid closed the door that separated her new quarters from the rest of the cargo bay. The room was empty for now. Lieutenant Torres had promised to return tomorrow with furnishings. Seven didn’t quite understand why they were necessary, but that was irrelevant for now. Now she stood in a space that was hers, a space that she could control, keep tightly within her own parameters. A space where everything would be orderly.

It was satisfactory.

* * *

Kes hadn’t expected to be able to sleep, but she woke in the morning and didn’t even remember lying awake for more than a minute or two.

She turned on her back and watched as the light in the room, programmed to simulate sunrise, brightened and warmed. That had been Susan’s idea. She and B’Elanna had fought about it three times before B’Elanna had finally agreed that actually it was pretty good.

Kes had liked it all along. She had lived more than four years now, and she still hadn’t seen half as many sunrises as she would have liked to, or sunsets either. But then, she’d seen suns be born and die, she’d seen worlds she’d never imagined, she’d seen more than she’d ever expected and probably more than any Ocampa before her ever had.

She sat up.

‘Captain?’ she said. ‘Are you awake?’

* * *

They walked to the airponics bay together, both still in nightclothes. They set to work planting some seedlings.

‘I’ve made up my mind,’ Kes said.

Kathryn nodded. ‘Go on.’

‘I’m four years old,’ said Kes. ‘That’s half my life gone. I’ve seen so much, but there’s still so much more I want to see, and know. I never thought nine years was enough, but now it seems so pitifully short - I want to experience everything I can in that time. And I don’t… I don’t want a child. I don’t want to make time for a child when I feel like there’s barely enough time for me. Is that selfish?’

‘No, I don’t think so,’ said Kathryn.

‘I feel a little selfish,’ Kes admitted. ‘But I think that’s all right. Thank you, Kathryn, for all your help.’

‘Any time, Kes.’

They exchanged warm smiles and went on planting.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tom, Harry and Neelix prepare a surprise for the crew. B'Elanna gives Seven a gift.

'Anyone know what they've got up their sleeves?' Kathryn asked. 'B'Elanna, you've been spending an awful lot of time with Tom lately - surely he's given you some hints?'

She sat on the couch, taking her hair down from its workday bun and brushing the kinks out vigorously.

'Your guess is as good as mine, captain,' B'Elanna said, not meeting her eye.

'Harry almost burst when we had music practice together earlier,' said Susan. 'They're pretty excited about it, whatever it is.'

The mysterious invitation had been circulated to the entire crew a few days earlier, telling them only to make their way to the mess hall at the appointed time. The grapevine had suggested that Tom and Harry were behind it, and Neelix was surely involved too, but nobody had any idea what they were walking into.

They collected Kes from airponics and Seven from the cargo bay on their way. When they arrived at the mess hall, there was a small crowd already gathering outside the doors.The crowd grew as they waited, the noise level rising, until finally Tom slipped through, allowing only a glimpse of vibrant colour behind him before the doors closed again.

He was dressed in dark boots and pants, a rough tunic and a loose green waistcoat. He grinned at the assembly, and bowed deeply in Kathryn's general direction.

'My lady,' he said, 'and honoured guests - you are warmly welcomed to Voyager's first Renaissance fair!'

On cue, the doors opened, and he bowed them through. The mess hall had been transformed - the tables lined two of the walls, set up like stalls, covered with homespun cloths. Some of them were laden with food, others set up with games. Somewhere they had found straw - it was strewn on the ground, and bales of it dotted the room. A recording played - a blacksmith's hammer, chickens clucking in the distance - and in a far corner, Lieutenant Ayala was playing Tuvok's lute.

Harry was at the door, handing out brightly coloured skirts and tunics to anyone who wanted to don them on top of their own clothes. Kathryn took a skirt and slid it over her head and down to her waist, grinning at him as the crowd flowed in around them.

'Mister Kim, I'm very impressed!' she said. 'How did you put all of this together?'

He beamed. 'Tom, Neelix and I saved our rations and pooled them - but we didn't even need them for most of it. Kes donated the straw from the airponics bay, we scrounged up whatever fabric we could find, Tuvok has already been teaching Ayala to play the lute., Neelix has been stretching the supplies so we'd have some spare for this... next month we're hoping some people might make crafts to sell.'

'Next month?'

'If it goes well tonight...'

'I'm sure it will, Harry,' she said, patting his shoulder. 'I can't wait to explore!'

The others had already gone ahead - she could see B'Elanna attempting to explain the Renaissance to an interested Kes and a bemused Seven. Susan was already trying her hand at the ring toss. Kathryn spotted Chakotay in the doorway and caught his eye. He headed towards her and she linked arms with him.

'Come on,' she said. 'Let's try out some of this food.'

* * * 

B'Elanna had challenged Chakotay to beat her at the axe throw, Seven had excused herself after a token few minutes, and Susan was having her hair done in an authentic Renaissance style by Crewman Anderson. Kathryn found Kes leaning on the counter, watching Neelix lift little Naomi Wildman up to take a turn at the ring toss.

'Penny for your thoughts,' she said.

Kes smiled. 'Neelix would be such a good father. I hope he gets that chance someday. But the more time goes by, the more certain I am that I made the right decision about my own procreation.'

'I'm glad.'

'Isn't this wonderful?' Kes said, gesturing at the crowded mess hall, the delighted faces of the crew. 'It's been weeks since I've seen everyone this relaxed.'

'I knew having no access to the holodeck would bother Tom and Harry,' said Kathryn. 'But I didn't anticipate something as big as this. Tom tells me they have other plans, too - they want to organise some kind of role-playing game - like a holodeck but without the holograms. Almost like an interactive, communal theatre performance.'

'Do you know who would love that?' said Kes.

Kathryn nodded. 'I know. The Doctor would be in his element with all this.'

'I'm not trying to make you feel guilty, I know you have a lot of competing demands to balance - but could we find a way to activate him sometimes, just for occasions like this? We've been doing so well on energy efficiency...'

'Kes...'

'He's a member of this crew, the same as anyone. The only difference is that he uses the ship's energy directly, while the rest of us use it via the lights and gravity and replicators. If we ever get out of this, this experience will be an important part of our story. It's cruel to exclude him from it completely.'

Not for the first time, Kathryn was disarmed by Kes's calm certainty.

'Alright,' she said, 'I know when I'm beaten. Go activate him for this evening. Tomorrow we'll talk about a longer-term solution.'

'Thank you, captain,' Kes beamed, and hurried away.

Kathryn stood for a moment, watching the crew, and then Naomi beckoned her over to play.

 * * *

After comprehensively beating Chakotay at every game available, B'Elanna excused herself to go see how Seven was settling into her new "quarters". She couldn't quite believe she was doing it, but there she was, knocking on the little partition that separated Seven's alcove from the rest of the cargo bay.

'Lieutenant,' said Seven, opening the door and peering at her suspiciously.

'Uh, hi,' said B'Elanna. 'I thought I'd come and see how you're doing. And... I brought you something.'

She thrust out her hands, and Seven took the bundle with a dubious expression.

'What is this...item?' she asked.

'It's a rug,' said B'Elanna. 'A rag rug. Uh... it's for you.'

'For what purpose?'

'You put it on the floor. It's decorative... and it makes the space a little warmer, I guess.'

'The temperature is adequate for my needs.'

'I know, Seven, but give it a try? You'd be surprised how much difference a little decoration makes to a place. When I first came aboard, I didn't have anything. I'd lost all my belongings. Harry gave me a couple of things of his to brighten up my quarters, and it was the first time I felt even a tiny bit at home in there.'

Seven peered at her. 'This rug belongs to you.'

B'Elanna shrugged. 'Yeah, it did. It's yours now, if you want it.'

'I... thank you. I will try it.'

'Great!' said B'Elanna.

Seven gingerly put the rug on the floor, and B'Elanna helped her to roll it out and arrange it.

* * *

B'Elanna liked sharing a room. She knew nobody would expect it of her, but almost every time in her life that she'd felt safe and welcome, she'd had roommates - in the Maquis, at the Academy before that had turned sour, with her Klingon cousins that one summer she had felt like she belonged to something. Living on her own made her lonely and cranky. She was the first to admit that she wasn't the easiest roommate - but she liked it.

Right now was the time of day she loved best, in her new routine. Late evening. Kes had already breezed through to change into her gardening clothes for a few more hours in the airponics bay. The captain was sitting on the couch in pyjamas, feet tucked under her, reading her book and occasionally reading out funny bits. Susan was about halfway through her esoteric nightly skincare routine, softly humming the piece she and Harry were getting ready for the concert Neelix had organised for next week. B'Elanna herself was changing into her own nightclothes when the captain's combadge, on the table in front of her, chirped.

'Bridge to captain.'

B'Elanna watched, curious and wary, as the captain picked up the badge to respond.

'Yes, Ensign Baytart?'

'Captain, you said you wanted to be notified immediately if we detected any dilithium within range?'

'That's right.'

B'Elanna caught the captain's excited eyes.

'Well, captain, we've just found a considerable deposit, and it would only require a minor course change.'

'Well done, ensign. Set a course. I'm on my way!' She was already pulling her uniform back on. 'You coming, B'Elanna?' she asked.

B'Elanna shrugged back into her own jacket. 'Wouldn't miss it. Who needs sleep when there's dilithium?'


End file.
